Handspanking “Engrish”

I love coming across things that just have to be described as absurd on some level. One of those things is the kind of stuff found at Engrish.com: "the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design." It can come from other parts of the world and languages, but the site claims that the Japanese do it best. I can believe it. Apparently, a lot of Japanese advertising will incorporate English words as part of its design. Content isn't always the important part. Hilarity often ensues.

I like to extend the loose definition to include other instances of odd translations. I think that I find it amusing because it comes from mistranslation rather than ignorance or laziness. (Then again, I do find the material on blogs like The "Blog" of "Unecessary" Quotation Marks to be pretty funny).

Adam is lucky enough to have a shirt that serves as a fine example. Kate and Fauzan gave him a shirt they picked up in Yemen. It has one or two cartoon dogs on it. The T-shirt says: "Roll Up, Roll Up!" It is a bright color and is way too small (it may be sized so that one of our nephews could wear it), but it was too good to pass up. I will have to see if I can find it again. I suspect it is with his old Santa Cruz Banana Slugs shirt...another kind of awesome.

I don't have anything so fun, but it is absurd (and a little disturbing). I have been kind of obsessed with a sign we first saw a couple years ago. Every once in awhile we take a different route back home from Louisville. I can't help it, but the sign for this Chinese restaurant cracks me up every time I see it. I know that it is probably wrong, but I am trying to spin this in the most positive way possible. I hope that this is a result of some misspelling on the part of the owner instead of a racist caricature (in the same vein as that awful commercial that aired during the superbowl...the one with the pandas with bad accents and the laundry and the business ideas service or whatever it was).

I finally took a picture of it and after all the build-up, here it is:



Seriously, what is going on here? Crazy mistake? Odd ad campaign? Or compelling evidence that some areas of the country definitely need a larger Asian population to head off some asshattery? Whatever it is, I just can't look away...it just seems like a trainwreck. Okay, a trainwreck that I laugh at.

There are so many wonderfully weird things out there. I am trying to get in the habit of carrying my camera around so that I don't miss more of these absurdities. I was too late to catch the sign on this bar in Lafayette that boasted about its famous Hand-spanked burgers.

I hope I haven't missed getting a shot of the "Sanitary Lunch" sign. I wonder if Adam is up for a road trip?

Plant Life

I have been thinking about plants a lot lately. I am sure that part of that is due to the gloomy weather. February is definitely the time of year when I begin to long for spring. We haven't had a lot of snow so I shouldn't complain, but looking at all the brown grass gets to be a bit depressing. In light of that, Adam's Valentine's Day gift of flowers was all the more welcome.


The arrangement is lovely--bright, playful, and springy. I don't know what they are exactly, but the big pink blooms made me smile. I hate to admit it, but the pink and purple combination works for me here. Does that mean that I have a pimp's taste in flowers? I probably shouldn't explore that thought so I will change the subject and point out that I was most happy to see the snapdragons. Yes, I did pinch them and made them roar. It seems perfectly appropriate for the day.

The flower arrangement is still surviving, but I know that I will have to say goodbye in a few more days. Our herbs, however, have settled in nicely. My parents gave me an Aerogarden for Christmas and the plants are thriving. It has been one of my favorite gifts.

The Aerogarden is a little hydroponic garden. You set it up, fill the tank with water and nutrients, and put in the little seed cups. We have a standard herb kit. I have really liked watching the plants' growth. I cheered for the tiny seedlings and now I have to get in there and harvest, snip, and trim. Delicious!


You can't really see it in the picture, but there is a very bright light over the garden. The garden requires about seventeen hours of light in the beginning. That has changed to about fifteen hours. I can certainly see why the directions stress that this may not be the best product for those who live in a one bedroom apartment. The light would certainly disturb my sleep. Luckily, the light can be seen from our second floor, but doesn't really get into the bedroom. The light comes on every night at 8 o'clock and goes off sometime during the afternoon.

They claim that you can change the timing on the light. We haven't been able to make that work. It seems somehow appropriate that it is the garden who is the boss. It will tell us what to do and it won't accept argument. As long as I get tasty herbs out of the deal, I can handle that. Tasty herbs without mud and bugs is even better as far as I am concerned. Today I will enjoy the bright light because the rainy weather means there won't be much real sunlight. Tonight, I will be harvesting some of the chives for our baked potatoes and some dill for a dill-horseradish vegetable dip.

Finally, I have been thinking about plants because Adam and I have once again given up meat (except for seafood) for Lent. This time around I am trying not to make this the forty days of dairy. I have been pretty successful so far. We did order a Garden Special pizza for Valentine's and we have had Adam's childhood Lenten dinner (fish sticks and mac-n-cheese), but we have also have had some balance. We have had ramen soup doctored up with baked tofu, peas, mushrooms, scallion and egg. I made peppers stuffed with basmati, lentils, garlic, onion, basil, and tomato. They were baked over a bed of sliced potatoes.

Upcoming menus include: roasted vegetable salad (beets, potatoes, turnips, carrots, green beans over romaine) with Brie and French rolls; salmon over green lentils, served with rice and mixed vegetables; baked potato, broccoli with cheese sauce, honey roasted carrots; shrimp and scallops with pasta (probably a garlic and olive oil)...and so on. I am really trying to stay out of the restaurants and convenience food aisles (though my snack stack won't bear close scrutiny).

It shouldn't be surprising that trying to go out this time of year can be difficult. Actually, it isn't really a problem in Louisville because they have so many restaurants. The Lafayette area presents a slightly bigger challenge. Most of the chain restaurants don't have a lot of options and what they do have may not be the healthiest. You have to want fried, creamy, or cheesy. I suppose the problem is that I am all too ready to get into that. I don't need encouragement.

I guess if it were easy it wouldn't be much of a Lenten sacrifice, would it?

Then again, I can't say that "having" to go out for Chinese, Thai, Sushi, Italian, or Mexican food is something I am going to cry about.

I'll close this post with a joyful (and fruit-centric) poem by William Carlos Williams:

This Is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

Lost Time

My only recent interaction with this little project of mine has been deleting comment spam. That is just pathetic. So here I am, trying to make myself feel better. However, when I think about where a lot of my time has gone I am not sure that I will succeed.

Most of December was spent trying to tie up the semester and with Christmas. Christmas Part One was held at the usual time in Wisconsin. The snow was quite festive and the winter had not yet turned weird on us.



It was good to see my family. The prime rib feast and haul of presents didn't hurt either.

Christmas Part Two was delayed this year. We waited for Mari to return from her Middle East adventure before celebrating. The new schedule didn't stop us from crashing Joe's New Year. The weather was much milder so we were able to grill our New Eve's dinner. Joe furnished the massive porterhouses and the lobster for the lobster mashed potatoes. And he picked out some great wine for us---so good in fact that when the time came for the champagne toast, our tastebuds had been spoiled. Rule: Never drink your weakest wine selection last.

We also took a little tour around a couple of Louisville neighborhoods to see some Christmas decorations. There were some impressive light displays, but one of my favorites was the inflatable nativity scene. There is just something so absurd about it that I can't resist. I am fairly sure that I will have to do some sort of penance for laughing too hard at the prospect of the baby Jesus floating around...



When Mari made it back to the states in mid-January, the real party could begin. We relaxed at home, heard some stories, and opened more presents. Joe was delighted with a prize from my parents: a toy chicken that dances to "The Chicken Dance." Still nurturing my intense dislike for The Chicken Dance (you may have to be from Wisconsin to understand why it may be an issue), I was appalled. I must admit that I am entertained by the dramatic choking and squawking sounds the toy makes when you grab it by the neck. I won't try to analyze that reaction too carefully.

I have since been caught up in the usual flurry of activity that marks the beginning of every semester. Five separate preparations seemed like an okay arrangement before I got into it. It has been a lot of work. I don't really regret it because I will take four separate literature preps over taking on a bunch of composition classes any day.

None of this seems particularly out of line, does it? Family gatherings and work obligations are both important. How could I feel any shame? I think it has something to do with the amount of time I have sunk into watching TV.



Specifically, I have been trying my best to catch up with Lost. I had stopped watching the show about midway through Season Two, mostly due to scheduling issues and some impatience with the show. I had heard some complaints about much of Season Three so I was comfortable with my choice. And then I heard that things had improved. So I thought I would get into the groove again by Season Four. It had been so long that I decided to start at the beginning. I am now three episodes away from finishing Season Three and the DVR is loaded with the latest episodes from the current season. It has sucked up a lot of time, but I have really been enjoying it.

The experience of watching TV shows on DVD is quite satisfying, especially for a show like this one. I haven't had a problem with Season Three at all and I suspect a lot of that has to do with my access to it. I haven't had to put up with all the games and delays that the networks play. I didn't have to wait for weeks between episodes. I didn't have odd repeats or teasers to put up with. I could just immerse myself in the universe.

I am pretty excited about getting into Season Four. I have heard that the network is going to be better about scheduling. I am not quite ready to believe the talk, but I can always hope.

I will soon be relatively free from my compulsion to watch Lost episodes. I would like to believe that will mean a more productive future for me. However, I know myself better than that and I can't lie. I will just have to be better about balancing my time.

And I will have to work hard to ignore the shelf that holds Season Three of Doctor Who and Season One of Supernatural.